One of the challenges of living with bipolar disorder is the fact that life sometimes doesn't turn out the way we expect. In a baseline state we have plans and goals that we intend to keep but then depression creeps in and the drive to accomplish diminishes. This time last year I was pushing forward diligently on completing my CPA certification. It was something that I wanted to accomplish. I've now let that slip by the wayside. It seems like my life is littered with broken dreams.
That is not to say that I want to go back and complete my CPA. I'm not sure that is the case. I neither want to do audits or taxes so my thoughts are that is something I don't want to do.
I do want to move forward with my life but I've stepped back from some of the commitments I've made. At some point, I expect I'll be ready to go back and attack some of the aspirations I've had. As for now, though, I am just learning to deal with the day to day.
About a month ago I wrote on my daily chart that I was stressed, and losing sleep, over being concerned about a new report that I had to develop. I was concerned about my ability to do it. Since then I've been able to accomplish that task to some very positive remarks from management. That gives me hope that by keeping on I'll be able to accomplish some of the other tasks I have on my plate that I'm concerned about.
I think the trick is to keep moving forward while giving myself room to breathe and to keep myself well.
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