In a recent post Therese Borchard outlined "10 Common Myths About Clinical Depression". As I read the post, I found myself nodding in agreement that the myths are prevalent in society. It wasn't until later in the evening as I was struggling to come to grips with my own depression—yep, it's back :(— that I began to realize that a lot of those myths are things I believe myself. I found that I was trying to control my depression as if it were just something I could shake off. I was getting frustrated with myself that I was unable to do so.
I've always considered myself a person of strong character. Besides the mental health issues I've encountered there have always been other significant challenges. (Isn't that true for us all?) But I've always been able to push my way through.
I'm finding that I'm not so easily able to push through this challenge. And I'm going back to meet with my psychiatrist tomorrow to discuss the possibility of my going back to work at least on a part-time basis as early as next week. I've got to say, I don't feel ready for that. Especially in light of the fear and struggles with depression and suicidal tendencies I've encountered in the last few days.
I find the image of an adult male cowering in a corner in fetal position disconcerting but I feel that way myself too often. It is not where I want to be!
Perhaps, it's good to be able to write this out and get this on the screen. On the surface I think I find myself putting on a good show. Something about the writing process allows me the freedom to get my feelings out.
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