Chronic Pain

In June of 2002, I left work in order to have wrist surgery. The doctor, who was highly recommended, indicated that the recovery would only be about two weeks and I would be able to return to work without further complications. Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way. It was actually the beginning of a long and difficult journey through chronic pain.

The human hand is composed of 27 bones. One of the three primary wrist bones, the lunate, in my hand disintegrated due to lack of oxygen. The condition, known as Kienbock's Disease, is rare and is not clearly understood.

The things I learned from this experience are:

1. Importance of relationship with doctor. Bedside manners make a huge difference. This was true when dealing with my issues with my hand. It is even more critical when dealing with the ups and downs of bipolar disorder.
2. Importance of others who have gone through the same experience. One of the most memorable experiences I had while recovering from the pain and lack of mobility in my hand was talking to someone else who had gone through a similar experience. Doctors and therapists could share all kinds of knowledge and played a vital role in the healing/coping process but they could not fully empathize as they had never been there themselves. Talking to someone who had validated the experience for me and helped me cope a little better.
3. Time has a way of making things better. It has been over seven years since I had the operation that fused my wrist. Over the course of that time, the pain in my hand has subsided. It's not totally gone but I'm no longer writhing in pain at the slightest bump. I don't expect it to ever go entirely away, and at some point it may even get worse but for now I'm able to deal with it.
4. My time schedule is not the same as God's. Corollary to number 3 is the fact that I had no idea what the time schedule was for going through the ordeal of having my wrist fused. In fact, I had no idea that it was going to be an ordeal.
5. I had to learn to be flexible. Part of the process for me was not having use at all of my right, dominant hand for a period of six months or so. As a result, I had to learn how to do much with my left hand that I was used to doing with my right hand. Today, I am still much more ambidextrous than I would have been otherwise, i.e. I learned skills that I wouldn't otherwise have.

Although I realize that the similarities between the chronic pain in my hand/wrist and the chronic illness of bipolar disorder only go so far, I am expecting that there will be similar lessons learned from dealing with this challenging disorder.