A Brand New Year

Well, it's time to start thinking about what the new year will bring--if you haven't been already. I know with the challenges I've faced since my major depressive episode began in September I've been thinking almost constantly about what the new year holds for me. I've got to say, at present, I'm more than a little concerned.

As the sole provider for my family of six (me, my wife, and four kids), I feel the pressure to be able to pull in a decent income. Prior to the last episode, I was doing a pretty decent job. I had a decent position--though admittedly a high pressure one I did not enjoy--making a fairly good salary. I knew how much I was making and where the next paycheck was coming from.

However, I've now been on short-term disability going on four months. While I am very glad to have the disability insurance and the resulting income, I'm getting to the point in my recovery where I'm feeling the need to get back to work.

There are two problems: 1.) I have a release from my doctor to go back to work on a part-time basis. Unfortunately, my employer indicated they were unable to accommodate that request pending a further review in the beginning of the year. 2.) My sleep schedule is still really messed up. The last several nights I have been unable to get to sleep well. Last night was particularly bad with me finally getting to sleep around 4am which resulted in me sleeping in to around 11:30am. Obviously, such a schedule is going to make it difficult for me to work a normal 9-to-5 schedule.

I am hoping that by the end of 2010--preferably much sooner--I'll have a much better handle on what I'm doing to provide for my family.